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Five members of the clergy showed off the new, cutting edge brightly coloured robes at an event designed to shake off the ‘dusty’ image of the church.

Well, this is a turn up for the books. In an attempt to shed their arcane image, vicars are turning to the world of fashion, even going so far as to walk the cat walk…

“So what?” you may well ask, “It’s a good thing surely to bring the Anglican church up to date.”

Phewee! I’ll tell you the reason they are doing this. It’s because they have lost all respect for the Bible and have decided to allow openly homosexual bishops, which means they will have to ordain homosexual vicars. Homosexuals taking precedence over women, you understand!

Nooooo, what they want is nicer frocks for the expected on-rush of effeminacy. Look out, the pretty boys are coming.

Fellow believers, that apostate church is upon us.